the Academia Nut: i am alien

raging spartacus

this tops the list top coke by far. this the best cos they don't really respect me and they no bunch o dumbsters playing pa-cute they got em substance sensibility attitude... taht's ryan mr.GQ, nico the bullhead, tin the effotless elegant, clyde the american chinese, hazel the celebrity, bless the virgin mary, rolly poly, chatty the batangas, teacher the hyped, andrew the QA, chich the dopey maaan, honey the scout, kat the charmer, lorie the provincial, kat the beauty queen, sally that girl, and eugene there the prim and i am just an ordinary guy wit nothing to prove i could smoke pot wit chich and taht's fine wit em...

this could happen tomato.

Heads up, earth! Given the most unfortunate of the most humiliating eventualities in the performance your sworn responsibility as the master of your assumed self deceived self proclaimed expertise given the circumstantial oversecretion of serotonin in your system brought about by the apparent predisposed obligatory adherence to the nocturnal basking in the function of your post being the hailed ruler of your empire of time within the reach of your territory regardless of the absence of the helium combustion, a trainee, in the middle of an extensive discourse about the conduct of ethics, reluctantly came up to you at his most discreet, while all the commoners eagerly looked on aware of the purpose of his bold undertaking and the threat of the untoward executive outburst of a possible wreaking mayhem, and whispered, “Sir Cox, your fly is open.”

ano ang gagawin mo?
Grace. Composure. Ignoooore. Carry on. Pretend as if nothing happened and expect a heavy concentrated downpour of invisible daggers aimed at the isolated frontiers of your parietal and posterior visual incapacities.

Institutionalize. Gayahin ang ginawa ni Aida Corathon. Mag hand fan, act as if you’re hyperventilating and walk out of the room and enjoy the reputation of becoming the most unforgettable Carol Banawa to Ketchup. Smoooth! Tae.

Subscribe to force and aggression resorting to a weight-throwing hierarchial definition of power guided by the principles of the belief that indeed earthlings are either naturally inflicted with dementia or were all born yesterday.

The closest of ethics suggest you turn back and zip it, maybe excuse yourself and leave. This, while keeping in mind the tendencies of every dissatisfied spectator as it applies to the very nature of the human race? Huwag ka na rin bumalik! You will see physical death first before you see them end the hoopla.

Yococuism. Mag zipper ka sa harapan nila, with confidence, tas sabihin mo with confidence, “It’s, the night shift. Agh!, this is so embarrassing!” tas sabay mag-blush ka na rin kasi ala ka naman choice kasi di mo naman mapigilan ang surge ng atisoyan mo, pero with confidence pa rin yan, tas sabay tumawa ka na kasi kelangan mo nang akiramdam na hirap na silang pigilan ang bumuhakhak baka kasi magalit ka o ano, so pag tumawa ka na tatawa na rin sila pero with confidence ka pa rin dapat sabay tingin ka pa rin sa baba from time to time kasi kelangan magmukha ka talaga katawa-tawa pero with confidence pa rin yan, tandaan. Tas kailangan vocal ka na nahihiya ka kasi kung hindi sila ang magiging vocal. Tas pero with confidence pa rin ha? Sige. Tas ano, humirit ka ng mga tipong, “At least everyone’s awake now!” sabay tawa, tas magtatawanan ulit lahat. Wag kalimutan ang confidence ha? With confidence pa rin dapat. Hanggang umabot sa punto na me magsasabi ng, “You did it on purpose to keep us up, did you not?” Naks! Ginamitan ka pa ng tag question di ba? Tas tawanan ulit. At ikaw, confidence pa rin yan syempre. Tatawa kayo lahat kahit alam nyo naglolokohan lang kayo kasi alam nyong walang ulol na trainer ang gagawa ng ganitong klaseng gimik.

Tas umasa ka na lang na pag kinwento nila sa iba, maalala nila ang kagaguhan ng reaksyon mo at hindi ang kahihiyan na inabot mo…

Yococus Bañares, Course Kills Professional Guinea Pig, Performance Management?
P.S. Amity? I mean, you know, since, well since, trained ka naman sa mga 2nd week classes I mean, you know? Me night dif and all, me hazard pay and all, I mean not bad, right, Amity? Me balak kasi ako magbakasyon sa mid-earth eh. Heheh…
Sub-P.S. See you in November.

Nyikes Asia, Incorporated 133rd Floor Barrgundy Corforate Tower 52 Sen. Gil Puyat Avenue, Makati City 1920 Maldives Phone: (+630) 917-8781 loc. 70300 Fax No.: (+632) E-mail: yococus.banares@nyikes.com www.nyikes.com